AND I WILL BELIEVE AND SMILE. xD

2009-12-23T09:50:00.001-08:00

lol damnnn long since i came here.
just came back from cruiseee. ;D
should i really just go and create a blog that i would update on a regular basis?
since i am online like almost 24/7. quoted by xm. lol.
aiyaaaaa.
oops i forgot what i wanted to say.
its going to be xmas soon.
totally not prepared.
aiya but anyway this time this trip gave me alot of time to think about stuff.
pretty sure i came back as a better person. ;D

anyway my to do list in my drafts didnt work.
I DIDNT WORK, DIDNT DO MY YI GONG, DIDNT DO THAT DIDNT DO THIS.
okay i wanna do yi gong.
mustttt.
and err. learn cycling? LOL.
super unsure of this.
my make up courseeee. ):
sadddd.

and oh yea.
i wanna go sing kbox. lol.
and go outtt and play.
okay i pretty much had enough of that alr.
lol kinda sick of it. ;X
thrs alot inside meeeee.
BUT DENNN.
aiya i dunno how to say. nehmind. ;D

i wanna change my hair.
SHOULD I CUT SHORT/FRINGE?
excited. ;D
ookay nobody would read this. bye byeee
;D

2009-11-18T07:10:00.000-08:00

farewell today. ;D
it was really nice. seriously.
i enjoyed myself.
ahahahah. food was nice too!
;D

on a sidenote,
i really am TPTL.
but forget it, amandatan let go.

2009-11-12T07:10:00.000-08:00

lemme start with something happy. ;D
1. tomorrows the end of examssss. ultra super duper happy de can.
2. a stranger totally made my day today. ;DD

tmrs chem, haven studied for it. lol
i studied the least for o levels seriously.
just cannot believe it.
4 yrs of hardwork just like that. O.O
i was thinking if i should work. like woah.
my first time working. LOL.

okay no more happy stuff.
u know, sometimes i really envy you.
despite all, i still cannot deny this fact.
maybe thats what makes it this way.
and maybe this time i know i cant help it.
hey, all the best. (:
i hate it that it gets to me all the time.
i hate it that i am able to think wild.
i hate it when i feel this way within.
i really hate myself for it.
why cant i be like how i want myself to be?
dear friend, take care.
and this time, i mean it.

and i know myself very clearly.
this step that i have taken makes the distinction much clearer.
but i guess i chose it.
so i can only bear it.
i know even if i haven done it.
i would still have felt as lousy because _.
and maybe thats why i dreaded the end of os.

i keep saying i dunno why la.
i dunno why i feel this way
i duno why i dread the end of os.
but actually i think i know.
i know it very clearly.
its just that i dun want to come to terms with it.
and refuse to admit.
although it has been verified long time ago.
i hate this here right now.

2009-11-10T08:09:00.000-08:00

hey you know what.
fuck you.
seriously fuck you.

2009-11-02T03:13:00.000-08:00

in the midst of my o levels.
lol pneumonia and 2 days in the hospital.
really appreciate those that made the effort to come visit. ;DD
big big thank thankkkkkkkkks!
those who sent smses too. really really really appreciate ittttt! ;D
Os so far are. i also dunno lei.
as in aiya. nehmind.
looking forward for o to be over!

on the flipside.
you suck.
okay no use thinking about it.
actually i very long nv think le. maybe too sick le. LOL.

bye byeeee.
i tihnk the next time i will be back will be after Os.
ps. i am watching some randam show. not bad. ;D

2009-10-23T01:57:00.000-07:00

guess i am at a lost of words now? lol.
i am TPTL. and thats why the feeling within sucks.
makes me feel like a downright loser.
all and out.
this time, i've really hit rock bottom.
owells, bye.

2009-10-10T10:23:00.001-07:00

booo.
slacked my ass off today. aiya.
THERES A STUPID THING BUGGING ME.
AND ITS REALLY BUGGING ME LIKE MAD.
never said it out, nv knew how.
aiya wtv.
trying hard to psycho myself.
lol. okok.
random post. bye bye.
around 2 weeks left. googoogaga. ;S ;SSSSS

/edit
theres this quote saying that you put up walls to see who bothers to break them down.
but what i am doing now is putting up my walls.
but yet breaking it down myself to break down another persons wall.
that feeling really sucks.
its tiringg. i guess thats all i can say. ):

2009-10-09T06:25:00.001-07:00

wooohoooooooo.
thrs been alotttt of drafts. but this is not. ;D
NOW DOING PHYSICS PAPER. ><
seriously i am damn sick of doing papers after papers.
i feel myself getting even worse la. ><
2 more weeks. freakyyy.
like FREAKYYY.><
all of a sudden
i really dun wanna continue liao.

oh oh on a sidenote,
i will try my best to do what i tell myself to.
i am clear of it, that fact, those facts.
so i will try. its time already.
i believe amandatan can de la!
hor?
okay la although i dun really believe in myself that i CAN do it.
but at least i TRY. (:
byeeee.

oh ya last point.
MY AIM FOR O LEVELS.
I WUN FORGET MAN. LOLOLOL. xD

2009-09-18T21:23:00.000-07:00

YO.
much better now.
although my orh ceh feels worse.
and my left eye has a cut below it. argh.
shall study le. ;D

i really fine le. (:
just so long that i really dun see it.
its easy for any other times, but this time is really hard.
its just right in front of me.
but i promise, this time i would not go look.
my self protection. (:

2009-09-18T07:28:00.000-07:00

ahahaha. todays newspaper collecting.
hands BLACK. my skirt got dirtied too. lol.
and we had a tv. which caused me to have a big orh ceh on my thigh.
now alr got very fade colour.
i tihnk tomorrows gonna get worse. uhoh.
i kiaped my fingers too. LOL. dumb.

okay immense studying starts. (:
tomorrow gonna go out to study.
dun wanna coop up at home.
previously, i said that.but now that it really happened.i am not able to treat it as it is.what the hell. i know myself very well. but this just. i dunno why i cant face it. this time, i really really dunno what to say. even refused to talk on the phone. hah. really am a joke. big one.

2009-09-17T01:35:00.001-07:00

saw this on my cousin's status.

人生大道朋友您好，为了你好，请您坐好，用心听好。钱多钱少，够吃就好。人丑人美，顺眼就好。人老人少，健康就好。家穷家富，和气就好。老公晚归，有回就好。老婆唠叨，顾家就好。孩子从小，就要教好。博士也好，卖菜也好。长大以后，乖乖就好。房屋大小，能住就好。名不名牌，能穿就好。两轮四轮，能驾就好。老板不好，要忍就好。一切烦恼，能解就好。坚持执着，放下就好。人的一生，平安就好。不是有钱，一定就好。心好行好，命能改好。谁是谁非，天知就好。修福修慧，来世更好。说这么...多，明白就好。天地万事，随缘就好。很多事情，看开就好。人人都好，日日都好。你好我好，世界更好。总而言之，知足就好。这条短信，真的很好。不发给你，是我不好。

cute, true. ;D
okay bye byeee.

2009-09-15T01:48:00.001-07:00

YO. nows 448.
lol abit tired. maybe will nap.
results back alr.
although not satisied with ss.
BUT. i know i have to zhi zu. ;D
nehmind this kinda worked.
like got ji li-ed to study.
LOL.
no more slackingggg.
study. ):

okay the least i can do now is to finsih my papers. LOL.

/edit
okay i was doing stuff when i thought of it again.
not nice to think.
lol but anyway, am fine and shall continue doing stufff.
kinda tired though.
its boring.

2009-09-08T23:23:00.001-07:00

YO.
today is wednesday.
I CAN FEEL MY HOLIDAYS SLIPPING BY.
lol. went shopping on sat and mon.
broke ttm.
and now.
i realised i really do have alot of homework undone.
from the prelims de also got.
new one also got.
like chem my tygs undone.
LOL.
physics the 3 papers all half half.
bio too.
maths is killer. omg.
okok today is homework day.
i set ytd to be too.
but i ended up sleeping. watching tv.
printing all alone took up alot of time.
LOL.

2009-09-01T00:36:00.000-07:00

yo.
bio is boring.
lol i felt like saying bye.
but this woudl be very bo liao.
there are bits and pieces of songs in my head.
youtubes my fav website currently.
LOL.
my sms is baoed.
i wanna off my phone alr.
i ate my ice cream.
i am looking through respiration now.
bronchiole.

i think its abit fated de gan jue.
like sometimes i need to study.
den somehow facebook or youtube cant load.
like i need to go out.
and it rains.
or like i feel like closing the book.
and my phone rings.

its just o.o
inhalation.
LOL I AM LIKE TYPING.
den i continue reading.
when i bored i come back.
LOL.
i did emath paper 1 just now.
its like i refused to think.
just anyhow do.
><

emphysema.
LOL. i am ending this chap soon!
excretion.
its 4pm now. i wanna see finsih all by 6.
den on to papers.
den i go sleep.
i am at homeostasis now.

seriously i dun think anyone is inteested. in such things.
okay la bye bye. i type in drafts. ;D

2009-08-31T08:29:00.001-07:00

hey.
me felt the need to come up here. lol.
my thoughts are in bits and pieces now.
like i have to get back to my bio.
my hair is wet now.
i feel downright guilty.
i feel like i drifted apart.
i know i have to stop _______.
stop being _______ of people.
but thats my character i guess.
shuai ye shuai bu diao.
just have to curb it.

nope what ppl do is what they are capable of and what they have the abilities to.
so if u cant and is unable to do it. no use getting so what over it and letting it come to u.
if u wan it. den work for it. yuppp.
they worked for it.
so u wan it.
work for it.
YES. MOTIVATING.
lol.

anyway guilty.
i feel like i damn what.
as in seriously damn what.
i was the one who said i wanted to see them again.
but i ended up being the one who pangsehed them.
when i saw the smses really felt damn stupid. lol.
i also dunno la.
to say my laziness got the better of me is an understatement.
whatever la.
just plain dumb.
what made it worse was that i didnt go.
but yet i didnt go thr too.
as in like. yes things aren't the same anymore.
and i was pretty sure i wouldnt make a difference anyway.
but yet.
aiya i dunno how to say la.
wth. i feel like slapping myself.

was watching ming zhong just now.
lol it was my THIRD time watching it.
AND I COULD STIL CRY AT THE SAME PART.
-.-
okay la i go back bio alr.
hope i can concentrate.
finish it till the end. get it over and done with.

AND IF I WANT IT.
WORK FOR IT.

P.S. this years ending soon.

2009-08-29T22:53:00.000-07:00

its been a long LONG LONGGG time since i came backkk. gahhh
i havea great tendency to go to blogger instead of going google.
i dunno whyyy.
anyway i amm supposed to be studying my beloved bio.
but what the hell am i doinggg.
totally whiled my weekends away.
ah anywayyy.
tmr teachers day.
i rmb last years teachers day.
the sec 4s were the ones who made it interesting.
tis year. hmmm.
lets see this year dennnn.

somehow it feels vey fast that this year is going to end soon.
Os are over.
yupp good thing.
but the sense that friends are going to our seperate ways kinda freaks me out.
i understand its hard to be as good as before.
but at least i hope we would keep in touch?
):
i envy those who are capable of keeping secondary school friends for long.
awwww.

okay back to prelims.
not as good as mid years.
but i hope i still get my study leave?;D
i got hooked on my mummys drama ytd night when i went out to the living room.
ended up sitting thr watching and crying till 4am.
it was a sad show alright.
but i wake up having a headache.
my eardrums hurt these days too eh.
I DUNNO WHY.

me going natas fair later on.
study day burnt again.
ah shucks.
tmr meeting up with primary school friends to visit my teacher.
burnt.
OH SHIT.

2009-08-07T03:17:00.000-07:00

YOYOYO.
I AM BACKKK!
okay i went to ikea and tamp1 for the whole day today.
legs aching and stuff.
and this is my first time going to the tamp ikea.
ya damn shibai and suaku.
lol. anyway!
i finally killed th lazy bug in me to go send photos from my phone to the comp.
some on fb.
I GONNA PAINT ME NAILS LATERRRRR.
shall see what colour i wan. ;D
can paint while watching show later at night. o.O

speaking of my phone.
my iphones still nowhere to be found.
lol was marveled at Lg's crystal today.
wow. the keypad is damn. speechless.
too bad the colour aint that nice.
what a pity.
ANYWAY. i finished ABIT of work in class today. ;D
ahahha! now moods pretty good. ;D

byeeeee!

2009-08-06T07:33:00.000-07:00

yoyo.
nows advertisement for ming zhong.
lol my third time watching.
i can predict what they saying alr.
but it still makes me happy just watching it. ;D

14 days to prelims.
i haven start studying la.
as in like reading tb and stuff.
i still got so many papers.
><
i dunno whats wrong with me lately.

okay i dunno what to blog anymore.
times passing like lightning.
oh ya i slept for 3 hours in the afternoon. shuang. ;D
byeee.
祝你开心快乐！

2009-08-02T04:33:00.001-07:00

bahhh.
tomorrows monday again.
lol i think i really waste my weekends away.
but whatever, as long as i am happy. ;D
next week is a short week too.
and its last week of tests!
AHAHAHAHA!
lalalalla. prelims coming prelims coming.
but yet.
i choose to watch drama.
seriously.
complacency.
wth. =.=
after i chiong finish HUAN HUAN AI first.
its nice. but somehow i watch that time i feel like got something missing eh.
i dunno how to say.
but ya lo.

i am a pro at dramas alr!
LOL.
currently my drama is loading.
i got amaths and bio and chem to do.
butttt.
chem and bio test next week.
i dunno how to survive.

hello, is anyone there??
QZCDSJ,YJDDR ):

2009-07-28T04:51:00.000-07:00

yooohoooo.
i feeling grumpy.
coz i wanna sleep.
yet i dun wanna waste time sleeping.
okay la this is damn dumb.
but anyway.
LIFE IS DAMN BORING LATELY.
screwed up life.

anyway lazy to think.
school days are still -.-
i still like home.
i need to go shopping or go for movies.
actually i have been going for movies quite alot.

i have alot of homework.
with all my papers and papers.
lol. came to terms with the fact that i can never finish them long time ago.
tests not coming back well too. awwww.
okay la i go back to my emath.
i can out of 9 ques. 8 ques careless. wow.

byee.
life. is a profound word.

2009-07-24T07:13:00.000-07:00

oh great. its finally friday.
my absolute boyf~~
LOL.
anywayy. got tons of homework. shitshitshit.
went to watch fighting today.
not as nice as what i expected it to be.
somemore no subs.
abit disappointed. sighhhh.
it was NC16.
had to go through alot just to get in.lolll.

tomorrows sat.
better make good use of it.
rarhhh.
and i am going to make specs alr.
i dun wan my eyesight to get worse.
thats all for now! byeeee. ;D

2009-07-20T05:56:00.000-07:00

yo yo. its 8.56 now.
today was fineee. reached home around 2.
lol. did abit of stuff and slept till 6. woke up and pretty much studied till now.
i just realised organic chem is not as easy as i thought it out to be.
just done the TYS. wrong here wrong there. lala. ><

ANYWAY. not the point.
theres test tmr wed and thurs. wah lucky friday dun have.
if not really lian xu alr.
works still piling up. but kinda used to it alr i guess.
lol. anyway time really flies.
i guess studying for prelim really has to start alr.
if nottt.
i am gonna die badly.
oh no no. >;D
its till 5pm tmr. mama.

OH YA. U KNOW I FORGOT TO BRING MY CHEM NOTES HOME.
lol. so i relying solely on my darling tb.
writing zuo wen tmr on class. SIANNN.
the topic's hard.
die tmr.
and somemore, i have no gaozhi.
still haven bought yet. ><
shall try to complete some stuff.
back to chemmm. bye bye. ;D

2009-07-18T08:54:00.000-07:00

& all i really wanna do now is to.
go shopping. hard core shopping.
movies.
sleepovers.
just plain going out.
watch youtube.

what i really need to do now is to.
homework.
homework.
homework.
okay maybe study.

2009-07-17T20:44:00.000-07:00

ookay, so its 11.44am now.
i decided to do intense homework today! must.
tomorrow most prob going to see phones.
but whether i can buy iphone is going to depend on its price.
sigh. what an ass.
everyones changing phone lately. ;o

anyway on a side note.
i was proud of myself yesterday!
although i could have, but i decided against it.
for myself. ;D
okayyy yay.

oh ya.
and i watched absolute boyf ytd.
damn sadd.
but nice.
should i leave the last ep for next week?
LOL. shall see shall see.
awwww.
whats going to be the next drama to take the place of absolute boyf?
i dun mind it being a nice show! ;D

thrs alot of homework. i shall get started!
BYEEE. ;D
if u see me online, please remind me to do my work! ;D

2009-07-17T02:53:00.000-07:00

yoyoyo.
its friday!! friday is good!
coz mock exams over, and i have absolute boyf!
;D happy happy.
i have damn alot of stuff to do.
and i wanna watch movie.
so hmm. try to make time i guess.
it doesnt help that i am slacking now though.
may be coming back later.
bye bye!

2009-07-14T04:06:00.000-07:00

booo.
didnt go school today.
sorethroat.
mummy made me drink green bean soup.
totally digusting and reminds me of BNCO.
but i guess it helps?

anyway.
truckloads of homework awaits me.
JUST WHEN I THOUGHT THAT ITS GONNA GET LOWER.
den here comes another blow.
woooo.
and to add on all the tests and stuff.
overwhelming seems more suitable here den to use it in that stupid compre passage.
tomorrow have to complete all the homework owed today.
den at least it wouldnt be that bad. lol
i try bah
i am always making impossible aims.

shit homework.
its totally spoiling my mood.
TOTALLY.

2009-07-12T06:10:00.000-07:00

came home after homework session today.
it was darn tiring i tell u.
but at least i completed work la.
not aloot, but definitely better den what i could have achieved at home.
much better.
so happy.
wanted to sleep den continue my SAGA.
but den i figured if i sleep i wouldnt be able to sleep at night.
and i have been living like that for the past week.
it was hell.
so no no.
kinematics test on tues.
NYAA to be done.
googoogaga.
anyway back to hw session.
soon it became camwhoring session.
plenty of unglam pics.

was looking at random peoples facebook accounts.
looking happy i can say. ;D
kinda miss those times.
BUT. i am proud to say.
i really made good my word this time!
like i tried to arrange stuff!
HAPPYYY. ;D
i will try to continue! ;D

i was looking at BOF videos ytd.
kinda sad when i saw my pretty boy's part. sigh.
i guess what touched me throughout was when i thought about the firefighter/lifeguard part.
that was damn xin suan.
touching too i guess. ahah.

okay la i needa get back to work.
got some bio ques coz no tb cannot do.
chem is asking amanda aw tmr. (so sorry!)
zuo ye left abit too.
NYAA left alot.
doing physics paper later.
hope i can do it.
tmrs kinematics day.
oh and da gang day. AHAHAHA.
i hope i can stay happy. ;D

pretty please? ;)

2009-07-11T09:13:00.001-07:00

& i just opened every group of my msn contacts.
only to close them again, without opening any conversation windows.
what does this mean?

anyway, didnt do much today
went out.
ate at some place in yishun or sembawang i think.
nice and big place.
catch prawns for adults and catch fish for kids.
i wanted to catch fishes so much.
but i was overage.
LOL. 3-12.
hai.
well i made friends with the little kids over there. ;D
its was a very big place, even though it stinks pretty much.
but the environment is damn nice.
hardly see singapore having such places.
;D worth it i guess?

i wanna do homework tmr.
i know studying is out of the question now.
pretty pathetic.

2009-07-10T08:14:00.000-07:00

ITS FINALLY FRIDAY.
lol like really finally.
we started school on tuesday eh.
next weeks gonna be worse.
gah.
okay nehmind.
today.
EARLIEST DAY.
WHAT TIME?
4pm. hah!
ookay so i came home and did nothing.
slept from 6 to going 10.
my god its 4 hours.
LOL.
thats who tired i am okay.
and the best part is that i didnt do any work.
crappp.
work is piling up again.
lol, i still think doing homework in school is much better lo.
like u dunno how to do den can immediately AMANDA AWWWW.
LOL.
i would be very surprised if shes not irritated at me alr.

i am waiting for my absolute boyf now.
its really nice lo!
i feel damnn proud of myself for being able to follow the tv speed and not watch online.
AHAHAHAHAH.

oya.
i wanna shop.
like soon.
i went blogshopping some time ago and ended up having a huge craving for it.
bad. but oh well, i need a balance righttt.
study study study.
will go ki siao.
i cannot be blamed.
and i dun care.
one day of the weekends shall be shopping.

i seriously need a new phone too.
dropped it on the floor and the screen cracked.
rarh. i want a white iphone.
er how much is it ah?
LOL.

i needa do homework after my absolute boyf.
i think i would go do bah.
if not today nv do. tmr also must do.
and i got NYAA.
oh shitass.
i was telling xinmin.
if NYAA had a shopping category.
wahhh i tell u.
shoik liao.
I GOT EXCUSE TO GO SHOPPING MORE OFTEN. ;D

2009-07-06T08:17:00.001-07:00

yoyoyo.
lollll.
youth days pretty much gonee.
so i guess i am left with school days ahead.
just finished bathing.
den while bathing i thought alot.
lol i dunno why i bathe den can think.
maybe coz like no distractions like the tv or the comp?
lol anyway.
I MADE A LIST OF TO DO.

so here goessss. ;D

1. study, and really study. ;D
2. treasure all my friends now well.
3. take lots of photos.
4. ____ ___! ;D

lol i dunno why the thought of taking photos came to my mind.
i guess its just like coz photos are the only way to keep things in memories?
lol. anyway.
what people say is true. ;D
its hard to get back lost friends.
so the least i can do now is to treasure my existing ones well.
well, i can try cant i? ;D
i have yi gu chong dong like arranging a session for my primary school mates.
gonna be hard, but i wanna give it a shot! ;D

and i suddenly remembered something that i was thinking too.
like i am always complaining about my lack of life.
but to think back.
actually i tihnk its not that bad.
was just being greedy nia.
its not that goodd.
but i guess its not bad alr.
i have to put in my part too right?
so. anyway 6mths more before i finsihed my secondary school life.
better late den never right!
i will try my best to live these 6 months fufillingly.
and take more pictures. ;D

tomorrows plan is to stay back around 1 hour after school.
which is like 5pm.
den we can do homework together.
and liddat. maybe eat dinner or go home tgt anything.
den when at home maybe dun need to concentrate on homework that much.
can study?
LOL. worth giving it a shot mah.

anyway. i have to make it workk!
okay i needa go pack bag bla now.
schools till 5pm tmr.
GOOGOOGAGA.
i hope i can survive
AIM: TO NOT SLEEP, AND COMPLETE HOMEWORK. ;DDD

ooya. i needa check acp for timetable.
heard theres no lunch break.
kns kns kns!

2009-07-04T10:51:00.000-07:00

okay warning.
i am feeling very argh and ugh those type of mood now.
like aiya i dunno la.
i always say i wanna treasure my life now.
my friends now.
but i never seem to do it.
i still brush them off when i am busy.
or with other stuff.
with other people.
or sometimes simply because i have no interest.
but thats like eating my own words.
just a few days ago i was still telling nick chia about me missing my primary school friends.
like.
i remember in sec 1 we kept really close contact.
like real close.
i remember crying my eyes out every other night after the realisation came to me that oh we are going to go our seperate ways.
that feeling was just. wahh. cannot take it.
but somehow what happened along the way?
we make new friends, we break old ones.
its totally like not worth it lo.
i can like count with one hand the primary school friends i actually talk to.
its damn pathetic la.
everytime i talk online with them
we would always go down to the topic of organising a meet up session or whatnot.
but nobody bothers to actually go down and do it.
its too much of a hassle.
everyones contact changed, everyone changed.
i really envy my class guys.
despite being in different schools.
they managed to keep in CLOSE contact, go out. even have sleepovers.
and they say girls are better at such stuff. HAH.
what happen la.
i remember having alot of other classes friends too.
but what happened?
hai.
okay back to now den.
like okay i am about to move on. leave AHS.
den it dawned to me.
actually all the friends that i have now.
no matter whether they are very close friends.
hi bye friends.
its a very high possibility of us not keeping in contact after this year.
its very sad.
so what if theres facebook msn.
theres still a diff.
i am never one who is good at keeping friendships close.
i also dunno why.
that may be just me.
but i certainly wanna keep my friends.
i dunno la.
like sj too.
i dunno la. i just dunnohow to say it out.
but the feeling just isnt nice.
if now i dun dare to say we would keep close, what more after o's and everything sets in?
okay i know its 2.03am in the morning and its stupid to tihnk of such things instead of sleeping.
but still.
this thought keeps me from sleeping.
like i am afraid.
i dun wanna get on with life, look back and realise that i have done nothing this 4 years.
people say sec school life is the best.
jc life can never beat that.
but to look back in my 3.5 years.
like walao.
i hvae nothing to my name.
it just doesnt feel right.
its a pity when there are friends everywhere.
but when somehow to point out a very friend that matters the most.
i cant do it.
sure i can name a few, but its really different when its just one. or maybe 2.
its just different.
it hurts i guess.

i know i have to focus on my prelims or even my o's and thinking about such things now is stupid.
and i haven even finished my homework.
but yea lo.
even ranting doesnt do good to this matter.
okay i shall think of how to improve this situation.
i wanna treasure my friends now.
get back lost relationships not only in AHS but also in coral.
i wanna. at least try my best.
and when i say it i wanna do it.
i dun wanna make empty talk once again like always.
and at the same time. i wanna gao hao my xue ye also la.
like at least finsih my homework and start revising.
everyones stressing over prelims i dunno what the hell am i doing.
yes amandatan can do this.

2009-07-03T22:59:00.000-07:00

lol. gosh time flies la.
soon its like schools going to start again.
anyway yesterday was SS plus monopoly.
monopoly was darn fun la.
IF ONLY IF ALL THE MONEY IS REAL MONEY MAN.
wah i dun need go be rich taitai alr.
LOL.
but anywayyyy.
shiyuan smsed me and called me.
i woke up.
den i fell asleep again.
i damn lousy la.
><

OH YA. I WATCHED ABSOLUTE BOYF YESTERDAY!
DAMN NICE DAMN NICE I LIKE!
although ony 11 eps nia.
BUT DEN STILL BETTER DEN COME MOMO.
><
anyway i think the ending is going to be very sad.
can sense it alr.
but stillll! ;D

/edit.

AH AH!

I FORGOT WHAT I WANTED TO DO.

I WANTED TO POST A PIC OF MY YOON JI HOO! LOL.

LOL. PRETTY RIGHT. HIS KILLER SMILE.

HIS SMILE IS WAHHHH.

2009-06-30T22:52:00.000-07:00

good morning. ;D
aiya okay its not morning only. its going 2pm.
i just woke up.
lol.
I SLEPT LATE LAST NIGHT.
watching drama.
but still.
lol aiya.
nehmind. i finish my drama.
nows work time.
its been bugging me at the back of my mind since i was watching it ytd.
todays supposed to be ss proj day eh.
oops.
aiyaaaaa.
oh ya.
i blogged to say!
U KNOW I REMEMBER HAVING A VERY NICE AND HAPPY AND SWEET DREAM.
but then. THE MOMENT I WOKE UP I CANT REMEMBER ANY CONTENTS OF THE DREAM.
except that it had been a good one.
walaoehh.
not like this happens so nicely in nightmares.
rarh.
oh ya.
i got damn alot of homework lei.
and i haven check my moodle yet for today/.
sure got extra.

2009-06-27T04:34:00.000-07:00

today is damn shibaied.
i wanted to do my chem and chem.
i ended up doing 2 mcqs nia.
lol.
later attempting my heymath. and maybe zuo ye bu?
sure fail de la.
crap sia me.
i feel like shit now.
i dun wanna go back to school.
and somemore all my notes in 4l classroom.
den we not having lessons thr. siannnn. crap.

heymath not letting me log in.
so its not my fault that i cannot do my benchmarks. okay thats shit too.
today is shit.

2009-06-26T22:13:00.000-07:00

its saturday already la.

schools coming. shit.

anyway i saw shiyuans blog.

so lemme show u MYYY folder. ;DD

PRETTY? LOL.
damn organised right.
damn this school. so much work. okay
i gonna do solely chem today.
maybe abit of maths. complete heymath.

2009-06-26T03:46:00.000-07:00

I AM FEELING DAMN WHINY.
ELEARNING IS SUPER UNHEALTHY LA.
LIKE I HAVE BEEN SITTING DOWN HERE WITH MY BUTT ON THE CHAIR FROM 2 TO 645 PM.
wthhh! i finish one set.
another one comes. WALAOEHHH.
tamadeeeeee.
FUCK IT MAN.
somemore my mood today already as bad as it is.
kns.
fuck this fuck that fuck everything.
FML. =.=

i think the amount of fucks i used today surpasses the number of fucks i used in my entire past 16 years of life.
lol ting en had to take the blow.

whatever la. anyway i know liao.
i meant it lo. fine.
fuck it.

alpha course tmr. i dunno if i should go.
i think i am just scared of making this a commitment.

i have alot and alot on my mind now.
mainly homeworks and stuff.
elearning totally suck la.
it makes me an absolute mugger/robot.

i wake up everyday at 12 plus.
i wash up.
i sit infront of the laptop.
i go to moodle heymath and enjoyedu.
i go dl all the new stuff.
den i breathe innnnnnnnn.
and start doing.
and doing and doing.
theres no end to it la.
fuck.
and right.
IF I DO ALREADY I CAN SEE THE HOMEWORK PILE DIMINISHING
at least thrs some bloody cheng jiu.
but apparantly.
I CANT.

crappppppp.
i cannot accomplish my aim i damnnnn pissed off liao.
6 chem papers lei! gah.

okay end of rant.
back to embracing my alcohols.
if i could i would drink them down man.
but they are poisonous. ><

eh but seriously hor.
wth man. fuck la.
FUCK.

/edit
theres absolute boyf today!
finally one thing good.

and this still cant get off my mind.
pissing me offf.

2009-06-24T11:28:00.000-07:00

gosh. theres really alot of homework undone.
i am super inefficient.
i spend so many days at home doing, but the pile dun seem to be moving at all!
plus.
my sleeping routine totally haywired.
i sleep at like what 3 plus everynight.
den i wake up at 12.
wth. ><
i rather sleep earlier wake up earlier too.
how am i going to school on monday liddat?
and going to sch on mon means have to hand up work.
BUT I HAVEN FINISH.
omgggg.
tomorrow i will try to wake up earlier to complete.
its now 230am.
shit. okok i will try to change my sleep cycle.
its unhealthy.
bye byee.
PEEPS DO YR HOMEWORK TOO.

2009-06-22T10:15:00.000-07:00

okay i know this is a drastric change of mood.
but anyway.
i realised i like cartoons alot.
u know xiao ding dang?
winnie the pooh?
ya ya.
TOM AND JERRY TOO!
that tops the list.
seriously.
i tihnk i know why i like it.
like i suddenly reminded of xinmins quote of the winnie the pooh de.
i dunno lei.
like when young u watch those.
somehow when growing up theres something just different in there.
like what people say.
young those thing big le cannot change.
so ya like watching alot of those while growing up i think hor.
will become very shan liang and stuff.
LOL.
i suddenly reminded of my little nieces watching YI NAN WANG with their grandma everyday.
they can even sing the song out liao.LOL.
anyway ya lo.
just a very extremely random thought.
maybe the homework got to me finally.
okay maybe the thinking of homework got to me.

but dun u feel they are much nicer to watch den those scheming shows?
the shuang zi xing and the channel u 10 pm show.
i watch it without knowing the title.
but if not for the handsome guy thr.
i think maybe i wun have that much chong jing to watch the show.
i like happy families everyday happy show.
LOL.
okay like who doesnt right.

just bloody random. bye bye.

2009-06-22T09:32:00.000-07:00

. KNS KNS KNS.
i kinda fallen in love with kns.
like its very fang bian.
ANYWAY.
e learning is shit.
theres really alot of homework.
they give the work as if its another 3 weeks of holidays.
when in actual fact theres only ONE frigging week.
crap. kns.

somemore hor.
holiday homework still not completed.
okay la i know its my fault that i nv complete.
like i am given three weeks.
but like three weeks very big liddat.
anyway seriously la. crap.

i shall list all my homework here.
E-LEARNING:
amath - VS paper 1. by friday.
hcl - some enjoyedu shit. compres and ke wen. by daily.
chem - 2 papers. by reopen.
ss - some self set SBQ thingy. by reopen.

(okay, some are by sunday, but i dunno which. so all friday.)

AND NOW. FORRRRR

(DRUMROLLS)

MORE. ._.

HOLIDAY HOMEWORK.
2 more emath papers.
4 chem papers.
1 physics paper.
zuo ye book.

GOOOGOOOGAGA.
WADS WITH SINGAPORES EDUCATION SYSTEM.
WTC. KNS.
GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
HELLL.
KICKASS TRUCKLOAD OF HOMEWORK SIA.
ALL VARIETY.
U NAME IT I HAVE IT.
U WAN PAPERS?
WORKSHEETS?
PPT?
ONLINE?
OFFLINE?
SOFT COPY?
HARD COPY?

life sucks.
i have no life.
i wanna watch my movies.
i wanna do my shopping.
I WAN MY LIFE.

2009-06-20T22:09:00.000-07:00

yoyoyo!
okay so i am back from student camp and camp echo. ;o
and now i am faced with the pile of homework.
HELPS ALOT THAT ALPS IS CANCELLED.
pray pray pray that they wun upload extra homework on moodle.
if not i will die.
I AM LEFT WTH:
4HEYMATH AMATH.
2 MATHS PAPERS
4 CHEM PAPERS
ZUO YE.
LUN SHUO WEN.
1 PHYSICS PAPER.

my god. okay i really scared myself liao. bye bye i go do something to the list.
bye bye.

/edit
OH YA I WATCHED ABSOLUTE BOYF ON FRIDAY.
ITS VERY NICE LAAAAA.
I THINK I WILL END UP CANNOT TAHAN EVERYWEEK WATCH ONCE.
AND WATCH ONLINE. LOL. BUT REALLY LA!
OMG! LOL.
SO MUCH FOR SAYING ABOUT DOING SOMETHING TO THE HOMEWORK LIST!

2009-06-10T01:19:00.000-07:00

BOOOO.
tmrs student camp.
i took out all the school related tees and stuff le.
actually really should go la hor.
it will be fun and this is already my last year la hor.
lol.

I DID HEYMATH TODAY.
well i tried la.
i wanted to do the maths paper, but now lazy le.
LOL.
i remember last time i dunno how to do
i will da po sha guo wen dao di.
but now like sub in answer and find la.
lol. changed attitude towards learning?
well. i better find back my attitude last time.
from now onwards.;D
dun care the last time de le.
hehs.

anyway i felt much better after venting last night.lol.
lol. okay now already.
hah. homework's my love. ;DD

2009-06-08T10:19:00.000-07:00

hey. ;)
i suddenly 感触良多。
like i 恍然大悟。
i also dunno how to say this feeling lei.
like like like.
all this while, i know it would be this way.
but suddenly it dawned onto me.
its really going to be this way.

maybe deep down there still harboured a hope of me having a chance to change my decision back then.
but now from the looks of it, its pretty easy to see that its impossible. no?
i guess there never was this chance.
it was just thinking on my part.
i geddit. seriously, this time i do.
i dunno how to change it.
i dun think i will.
i will continue with it this way,
and maybe somehow, i will just get it over and done with.
someday.

for now,
i will do some damage control. ;D
and maybe self protection.

yea. feeling much better.
at least this way, i wouldn't feel guilty. ;DD

2009-06-07T07:44:00.000-07:00

BOOO!
so. i watched dance subaru and hanah montana today.
nice. ;D
bought sunglasses again.
i dunno why. have a sickening fetish for them.
die.
I WANTED TO BUY THIS BELT.
VERY VERY NICE EH.
I HAVE NICE TASTE. LOL.
but then, i have no use for it la.
soooo.
i didnt buy.
although i regretted.
but kinda proud of myself in a way. ;D

anyway i rebonded my hair on sat. ;D
the guy washing my hair was like.
刚才你进来的时候看见你的头发蛮直的麻。
LOL.
my works still stagnant.
how ah. LOL.
i feel bloody pathetic.
like really pathetic.

AND TO ADD IT ON.
MY MUMMY BROUGHT HOME A NEW CANTO DRAMA.
very nice eh!
OH THAT REMINDS ME.
i can go be director already. quoted by my mummy.
COZ I LIKE KNOW WADS GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT.
OR LIKE WAD ACTUALLY IS THE TRUTH.
OR THIS IS WHOSE WHAT.
lol.
TODAYS MOVIE ALSO EH.
I CAN PREDICT SIA. LOL!

anyway, i got something boiled up for pretty long now.
hey, you pretty much suck now you know.
seriously la.
u told me once BHBC.
look whos the one doing it u idiot.
i hate the way i am now actually.
i dun feel good too.
forget it. i am living my life the way i want it to be.
or the way it was. to hell with u.
i want retail therapy.

OH YA.
I STILL NEED TO DO MY CHANGE FOR MY LIFE EH!
actually my lifes now pretty okay. i guess.
okay la shall not complain on my lack of life.
to think back.
its not thattt bad.
zi wo an wei yi xia bah.

p/s be thankful for being a girl. LOL.

2009-06-04T05:43:00.000-07:00

boooo.
FIRST week of holidays are going going gone.
what have u accomplished?
meeee.
besides a whole lot of shopping and fun.
nothing towards to academic side.
sad to say.
i went back to sch on wed.
den to my horror i saw all the benches outside the staff room filled up.
den go up the library still got teachers and students.
wah freaky.
made me scared.
kns.

anyway today is like. kns day too.
came home after spa.
only to find out daddy would be at home.
den the wholeee day.
hes thr amanda! amanda! amanda!
kns.
really la.
i hate it when people keep calling me to do stuff.
somemore in that stupid demanding tone.
crap.
liddat i rather the incessant calling home to ask me to do stuff.
at least i can plug out the wire or slam the phone down.
><
crap.crap.crap.

somemore the weather so hot. add on to my frustration.
to hell with global warming.
pissified.
anyway i went to sleep to avoid my dad.
den only woke up at 7 to go to NTUC.
buy jelly making stuff. LOL.
later den make.
kinda lazy now.

anyway, i needa start clearing some of the piling homework. like fast.
seriously.
at fast i didnt want to study. like just finish the hw will do.
but but but. looking at people liddat.
just freaks me outttt.
but its like so long.
engine will go out de mah!
okay thats excuses.
just scary only.

sentosa and botanic gardens tomorrow.
better be good! ;D
rebonding hair on sat
movie on sun.
mon bio and BBQ?
tues bio and errr. okay till then.
LOL. OH YA MAHJONG?
sheit.
wads going to happen to homework?

anyway today still sucked.
to the core.
felt cheated.

2009-06-01T04:50:00.000-07:00

YOYO!
lol. i spent the whole of today doing nothing but enjoyedu. woww.
U KNOW I COMPLETED IT.
except ONE frigging word that i cannot find.
wthhh. irritating.
but anyway.
todays just another stay home day.
kinda boring. but quite okay to me la.
since its like pretty long since i did this. ><
i shopped, kboxed, east coast park-ed.(although i accomplished nothing near to learning)
but still!

i am running out of timee. like seriously.
googooogagaaaaa.
my KHJ is fading away.
lol.
maybe i not watching.
den i cannot see him smileeee.
awwwww. nehmind. i will watch every sat still. ;D

anyway, i get tired of stuff pretty easily.
so, it wun impact me as much as i thought it would be.
lol bad thing good thing?
i fan er jue de its more of a good thing. SA TUO!
none of my businesss.

oookay. bye byeeee. shall do something about the playlist and the skin.
when i feel like it. ;D

2009-05-29T07:24:00.000-07:00

THATS ME WHEN I WAS A BABY/ TODDLER. CUTE?? ;D

ben tan says my mouth is big. LOL

2009-05-28T09:54:00.000-07:00

i think i slept too much sia.
okay i know i slept too much.
4.5 hours.
and in a not good position.
so my neck kinda hurts.
><
how the hell did i manage to sleep so bloody long?
anyway.
i feel damn sad sia.
sad for myself.
like exams are over hello.
den even when i sleeping.
i still can think of things that is to be done.
like wth?
i am speechless at myself.

theres like alot in my mind now.
theres this.
theres that.
theres the piling homework.
theres the urge to shop.
urge to do something about.
urge to learn roller blading.
urge to go to the beach.
urge to fang feng zheng.
and lastly,
the urge to do something about my mundane life.

should i take up my own suggestion on doing yi gong?? LOL.
but i dun have the time.
be glad my holidays are not negative yet.
mahjong sessions?
study sessions?
shopping sessions?
movie sessions?

OKAY.
THIS JUNE HOLS.
i MUSTTTT!
1) shop, and i mean shop.
2) study.
3) live life to the fullest.

i still detest my lack of life alot.
any suggestions to like lemme have a more fufilling life anyone??

anyway.
the drama queen have finished watching BOF.
okay quite long ago.
and is STILL drooling over her pretty boy.
I STILL CANNOT FORGET HIS SMILE LA.
seriouslyyyy. like OMG.
wo de mei nan zi! <33
i vandalised my table about him just recently.
and i have to clean it all up tmr.
WHICH REMINDS ME.
rags! lol.
MY MIND IS RANDOMMMMMMM. ;D
back to drama.
anyway.
i stilllllll feel damn xian mu!
lol okay la not really.
but MY PRETTY BOYYY. omgggg.

anyone up for sentosa trips/mad shopping/movie marathons?
CONTACT MEEEE. ;D
loves!

OH YEA.
MY RENICE DARLING!
HAPPY SWEET 16! ;DDD

/edit.
wo bu pei just came up on my playlist.
and reminded me.
ANYONE UP FOR KBOX TOO? LOL.

2009-05-22T21:39:00.000-07:00

heylooooooo!
its saturday nowwww. 12.40!
i am watching tv! channel 8.
okay i forgot whats the title.
anywayyyyy.
i dunno what i am doing here. maybe advertisement den bored.
hehsss.;D

oh yea. i have been watching korean drama.
wah that guy treats the girl damn good sia.
LOL.
but actuallly i abit luan diao also.
lol.
aiyaaaaaa. dramas my love! ;D
MAKES ME HAPPY!

2009-05-18T08:28:00.000-07:00

its been damn long since i came here.
kept wanting to come many times.
but either very lazy, or just simply decided against it.
really very long le hor.
just now felt a lil emooooo.
coz of some damnn stupid thing.
i was asking people online.
things can never be perfect.
i know that la.
just needed to like confirm that fact.
to drill it into my brain.

yes i know that.
but i amandatan is a PEFECTIONIST!
like i want everything to be perfect.
my life.
but obviously thats impossible.
and somemore to tihnk of it
my life not very bad now eh.
i was just being greedy.
life.
hmmm.

but actually its times like that that i appreciate life more now.
like coz i emoing.
i will take note of things more.
and it really made me happy.
like when i complained to them
they bothered to kai dao me.
make me see another side.
i know they know that i am only fa-ing lao sao.
but they still bother to tell me. ;D

i very happy eh.
like my mood really improved alot.
u all know i unhappy.
den like play games with me all these.
somehow it just mattered to me.
like really made me an wei alot.
made me feel, hey someones thr for u.
someone bothers.

like when in normal days.
i wun really think it matters alot.
like people restricting me.
telling me to sleep.
normally dun really go think
but now to really think.
they care.
thats why.
i just realised.
like like like u say u go sleep.
i tell u by 12 i sleep.
u msged to make sure its really by 12.
somehow MAYBE okay MUST BE.
i emo right
den looking at such things. i felt touched lo.
seriously.
;DD

when u all like play with me den make me laugh.
I REALLY FEEL MUCH BETTER. ;DD

maybe now the reason that made me emo in the first place
doesnt matter that much anymore.
i have them right. ;D
i feel very zhi zu and man zu.
thanks. ;DD thanks very much.

oh yea.
and what xinmin said is true!
she said sometimes u have to lower yr expectations to feel happy. ;D
I AGREE. ;D
if i dun expect them to ask me, i wouldn't even be unhappy hor?

2009-04-18T09:30:00.000-07:00

lol.
would it have been better,
if i never asked? ;D

but forget it la.
i got alot of things in my brain now!!
BUT i cannot type it out.
maybe coz i dunno myself too.

LALLA.
i know i seriously need to start studyingg.
but i cannot lei
i tried todayyyyyy!
I TRIED.
but no mood really cmi la.
lol.

I WATCHED 17 AGAIN TODAY.
HES DAMNNN HOT.
especially when that time he came out of the car!
WAHHH.
U CAN HEARRR THE GIRLS IN THE CINEMA MAN! LOL!
i seriously need to get started on my studying.
LOL.
my brain works in random ways. ><

2009-04-17T09:44:00.000-07:00

okay i am feeling extremely emo now.
OKAY I AM CRYING ALREADY.
lol.
just a sudden thought flashed through.
i know it will happen but suddenly i was afraid.
scared.
dun wan it to happen.
i dunno how to continue liao la.
but yupp.
i have alot of mixed feelings now.
but i wanna go sleep it away le la.
orals tmr. the timing couldnt be better man
><

*its times like this that i am so tempted to find you.
but whats the use now? ;D

2009-04-17T08:58:00.000-07:00

okayyyy.
i knowww its handover and stuff.
but i really dunno what to say. ><
JIA YOU. GOOD LUCK ALL THE BEST.
oh ya. anything dat u all wanna do.
do it. dun leave room for regrets. yep.
;D

Oh and after we fell out den we threw out berets UPPPPPP into the sky.
that scene was damn damn damn nice.
its like wah i dun wanna forget it man.
it really felt very nice.
awww i am going to cry.
anyway despite all we went through.
all the misunderstandings.
all the quarrels.
we had our share of fun joy and laughter.
so cheers.
i will miss all 13 of us. ;D
loves. i know we will go our different ways.
especially after the bond that tied us together has been loosened up some sort.
but yea.
i will miss those days. ;D

side note.
i ever gave it some thought.
but now to think back.
actually to only think and not do.
would be something good.
memories amanda.
never forget. ;D
WCJASN. EQYBSPTDA.
u. watch it. >;D

2009-04-10T22:18:00.000-07:00

hehhhh. i watched the last episode of my show!
;D later got pd.
..
730 START. 430 REACH.
dunno wth its for.
do i get my hours for waiting? THREE SOLID HOURS LEI.
><
anywayyyy. i.
i am stuck.
oh yea. i remember liao.

I FEEL VERY LOSERISH FOR STAYING AT HOME THE WHOLE OF YESTERDAY!
like seriously.
i dunno why la random thought.
LOL.
damn no lifeeeee.
WAD HAPPEN TO ME?
god knows.><

I WAN TO WATCH THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA ON CHANNEL 5.
the advertisement just came on.
BUT I WILL BE AT CSS.
><
dunno if its worth it.
better be man.
my time.
den next day go school like panda.
LOL.

MY MSN NICK:
你很厉害，但我比你更厉害！>;D

2009-04-09T20:05:00.000-07:00

heyhoooo. ;D
you happy now?
i am.;D

actually i dunno why am i so over the moon now.
in fact there are reasons to keep me down.
BUT I THOUGHT IT THROUGH.
anddddddddd. i am still as happy. ;D

should i go shopping? ;D
HEY YOU SHOULDNT BE DOING THIS!

2009-04-05T23:31:00.000-07:00

HEY. i officially reached home at TWO.
TWO. TWO. can you believe it? LOL.
for the first time in agessss.
but i was reminiscing the times during primary school.
i dunno why. reminded me pretty much of primary school. LOL.

but as i was walking along.
i was thinking alot.
i know its very stupid to think of it.
when i wanted it to end so much.
but now that its over, it becomes so empty.
coming home without training just doesn't feel right.
i feel very empty. kong xu.
like somethings missing.
its not an exactly nice feeling.
i know i contradict myself. but yea. ;D
arghhh. theres much to think.

ANYWAY CONGRATS TO EVERYONE LAST NIGHT.
WE ARE ALL DAMN PROUD OF AHSJAB! ;D <3

2009-04-03T07:18:00.000-07:00

AHAHAHA. ;D
its going 12 u know.. >;D
U KNOW WAD DAT MEANS?

lol anyway.
somehow this is not the matter bah.
i dunno.
theres a sinking feeling within me.
ah shitty crap.
nehmind positive side. ;D

2009-03-27T04:36:00.000-07:00

heyho. ;D
i dunno why i feel the need for a reflection. ><
it seems as though things are the same but not the same.
aiya i dunno la.
but i like to be happy.
okay who doesnt la. but, ya. ;D
anyway. i swear i will keep my mouth clean,
think of others more, think before i speak,
and ba a happy pig. ;D

anyway wads not to be happy about? ;D
currently I CANT THINK OF ANY.
okay abit lying. but who cares! ;D
I WILL DO WAD I WAN, AND NOT CARE ABOUT OTHERS, NOT THAT MUCH. :)

amanda tannnn! ;DDDDDD

o yea a random thought.
i wanna go for MUC in june! MUST MUST MUST! ;DDD

2009-03-21T08:41:00.000-07:00

hey. ;D
say the happy things first.
i shopped i ate and i watched my midnight movie.
mall cop.
hilarious. LOL.
shopping~~

anywayyy okay my emotions are taking over.
hey, even how angry u are
i dun think thrs a need to be that rude and sorts right?
i understand that my right is gone. and thats why i shuddup.
but even so.
makes me feel as though you have 2 faces.
okay snap out of it.

side track.
i still have undone homework.
oops. my darn nephew actually managed to complete his homework.
omg. make me feel so bad when i was at his house.
ASSSS.
should i like go do?
lol.

you know you know.
i like them.
seriously.
no matter when they piss me off.
when i feel as though i cannot control them.
but but.
they make me laugh alot.
even at times when i know i am not supposed to.
but its funny la.
i cannot bear to scold them.
but i kinda know like this only would do them harm.
i try not to.
i really feel very disappointed when i see them not putting in effort or not being serious and stuff
but i try not to let it show.
hmmm.
i feel like xt when i see them getting.
but somehow maybe they deserve it.
HAH!
all i want now. is for them to.
and prove to everyone that.
and nothing else matters. ;)

2009-03-10T04:12:00.000-07:00

lol. you know you know.
my stupid laptop has been having problems with the speaker.
after many many times of restarting.
finally got it to play. wah.
THE POWER OF MUSIC. ;DDD

anywayyy. HOLIDAYS ARE COMING!
even if its only for ONE pathetic week.
but better den none right? ;D

holidays.
i wanna SHOP
i wanna WATCH DRAMA.
i wanna SLEEP
i wanna learn ROLLAR BLADING.
i wanna watch MOVIES.
i wanna GO OUT.
i need to STUDY.
i need to DO HOMEWORK.
i need to have TRAININGS.

so many things to do. so little time.
lol wish me all the best..
OKAY BACK TO HOMEOWRK AND CHEM.
SUCKSHIT. okok bye bye

2009-03-06T23:16:00.000-08:00

lol. long time since i last wrote here. ;o
its that familiar feeling again.
the lost/ insecure?
lol not really idunno how to say.
maybe feel dislocated from everyone?
but its just like dunno how long ago nia.
lol.

nevermind. i have alot of things to do.
idiot. okok. bye bye! ;D

FIND HAPPINESS IN THE LITTLE THINGS YOU FIND.
- by YOURS TRULY. ;D

2009-02-21T06:52:00.000-08:00

hey.
yep. today went for POC.
lol i was supposed to wake up at around 9.15
ended up waking only at going 10.
chiong like some mad pig.

anyway yea.
den after that took neoprints.
den my dad realised i was at BUGIS.
and chased me home like siao.
alot of us took 12 home.
yay my suggestion. ;DD
and it took like 1 hour.
nice sleep man.
all of us ESPECIALLY SHIYUAN.
slept and slept and slept.
IN ALL SORTS OF FUNNY POSITIONS. ;D

came home went out came back. bathe and here blogging. ;D

i seriously felt downright lousy.
before coming i knew i would face such things.
making me feel so awkward.
but coz of . i had no choice.
yes. i understand myself wad i felt was not regret.
from the day i made that decision i told myself to NOT regret.
but i cannot stand it when they recognise me.
and gimme that o.o look.
although yea some smiled at me nicely( ;D )
but i really didnt feel in place at all.
all i wanted to was to get out of the U and step out of that place.
it really didnt feel nice.
especially wad u said make it hurt more okay.
i knew it was a passing remark. but sorry it pierced.
maybe it was the way u phrased it.
certainly didnt feel nice.
from the start all the way.
suddenly i felt like i didnt belong here?
i dunno. and smiling just doesnt actually mean i am happy.
i felt like crying. not coz i regretted not going.
but maybe coz i allowed myself to come and get hurt.
when i obviously knew that this would happen.
sometimes...
anyway its quite true that its over now, and i need not go through this anymore. ;)

side note:
while bathing just now i was thinking.
actually one sentence to describe myself is that
i can feel very insecure and i am just too proud to admit it.

2009-02-18T08:11:00.000-08:00

BOOOOO PEOPLEEEE!! ;D
okay i am pretty high nowwww.
yayyy.

okay i didnt go school today.
oops.
BUT I ENDED UP WITH LIKE ALOT TO DO.
and i didnt slack at home okayy.
i did enjoyedu and read my newspaper. ;DD
but now go school got too much to do.
tamade.
now my mood not bad right.
have a premonition that tomorrow will not be exactly a nice day.
hai. sure not in a good mood tomorrow.
its always this way isnt it.

anyway. tomorrow morning got chem test. yea.
at 7 in e morning.
i get to skip morning assembly.
;o
so i can wear my short skirt right. LOL.

hai.
okay i am getting depressed upon the thought of tomorrow. ><

2009-02-17T18:26:00.000-08:00

BOOOOHOOOOO.

lol. its 10.30am on a school day.

i am at home.

oops.

ANYWAY.

i got things to catch up. damn sian..

2009-02-13T06:01:00.001-08:00

hey.
its valentines day EVE!
lol. received alot of presents.
mostly from 409. ;D
THANK YOU MY DARLINGS. ;DD

didnt really listen in class or wad.
just day dream until lessons ended.
den it became cca. ;D
DA FENG CHUI~~~

aiya my mood not very good now.
byee.
i want a bouquet of flowers! lol.
joking.

2009-02-12T04:28:00.000-08:00

not exactly in a good mood now.
lol.
hate this stupid sinking feeling.
SA TUO. yes.
wtv.

anyway 2 tests today.
feels quite screwed.
nehmind forget it. lol.
doesnt matter much.

AHHHH MY HEART FEELS HEAVY. I DUN LIKE THIS FEELING. OH NO I DUN.

2009-02-08T07:42:00.000-08:00

booo.
in an okayyy mood now.
after watching mo nv you xi.
reading my book.
and the wu ling da dao.
lol. i am tiring my eyes out lah.

this week.
not exactly nice feeling.
seriously, not very happy la.
STUPID. I FEEL DUMB.

okay over jiu over le.
i am actuallyquite proud of myself for. ;D

i brought home amath and ss.
and i studied neither.
how smart amandatan. ><
lazy to change colours. let it be white bah.

i watched a certain mv today.

AND I LIKED IT ALOT.

okay only that scene.

ask me about it. ;DD

and i looked up
and saw"and i will believe and smile. xD"
yes i will. ;DD

2009-02-04T07:46:00.000-08:00

HEYOO!
okay its 11.46 now. aim to finish by 12. ;D
okay today seems like a pretty nice day.
had time.
to actually wait for the rain to stop den go home.
but i still could accomplish the stuff which i want to doooo. ;DD

had nice conversations along the way
with a nice tv show.
my aeroplane show
okay i got corrected my HELICOPTER show. ;D

i did study for my matrices.
AT FIRST.
i did it and i could.
den after that i got all wrong. zzz
okay forget it.
tomorrow thrs english test.
matrices test.
den ss have to do CONFLICT presentation.
><
haiiiii.

thursday dun seem inviting at all.
and yes!
i decided to finally start working on my english.
maybe too late la.
but I DUN WANNA GET A C OR A LOW B FOR ENGLISH.
thereforeee. yes. i shall strive.

AMANDATAN CAN DO IT DEEE!!! ;DD

对,我爱自己. <3

2009-02-02T05:53:00.001-08:00

HEY HEY!
I QUITE HAPPY NOWW. ;DD
i like being happy.
ACTUALLY
i think its coz i can be very easily honged kai xin.
lol.
seriously i can be happy over stupid things.
like just listening to nice songs and talking online.
make me laugh.
den i can be damn happpy le. ;DD

today.
okay i didnt do much.
coz all tests on thurs
den like study now scared forget
even maths also like practise on the day before de mah.
so now in a DILEMMA.
;D
i just changed my font colour on msn to GREY.
i am crazy over grey now. ;DD

i did abitof stuffs online. but yeap.
slacked the way.
watched CSS.
results were more strict. ;o

the pastal colours pretty right. ;DD
i love myself. <3
i realised i like to end my post with this LOVELY phrase. ;DD

i am sorry.

2009-01-31T05:43:00.000-08:00

i feel lousy.
downright lousy.
i feel like a loser now.
i know i shouldnt.
I HAVE BEEN STOPPING MYSELF.
and succeeding quite well somemore.
in fact i was quite well.
until i _____________.
suckshit.

BUT NEVERMIND.
at least i am clear now. ;D
i can only blame myself for not _______________.

ON ANOTHER NOTE.
i read like 2 chap of chem and 1 chap of bio can.
LOL.
ands its all coz i have been sleeping in class too much.

anyone wants to kai ye che with me tonight?;DD

coz i know i cant.
rest assured.
i dunno if its me afterall.
but i will do my part.

2009-01-25T08:48:00.000-08:00

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!

TODAYS POST IS GONNA BE IN REDDD!
okay i dunno what to say.
except it has been very busy with my mummy fussing ovr everything
and ordering me around.
which i HATE. ><
i went out to escape it for half a day.
and spent like 90 bucks.
on FIVE pairs or gorgeous earrings.
and my pair of heels.
as well as a ring.
food and others!
oopssss.

hehs. ;DD
happy la.
anyway MAY EVERYONE HAVE ALOT OF ANG BAO TO TAKE.
BE HAPPY AND DRESS PRETTY! ;DDD

2009-01-24T07:00:00.000-08:00

TEMPTATION!!
i am suddenly very tempted to go buy alot of stuff.
oops??

ACCESSORIES!
bangles? earrings? necklace??
ooooooooOOOOOOOo

SHOES!!
grey heels??? ;DD

gahhhh. how ah. ;DD
oh ya. i kind of wanna pon school on wed.
i dunno wad to wear.
damn sian of jeans. ><

2009-01-20T07:27:00.000-08:00

;D
its tuesday todayy.
so CNY is coming. yay.
bought finish stuff, but i want shoes and accessories.
its not must have la actually.
coz i have others.
just being greedy.

OH YA.
i am going on a DIET.
lol.
i dunno what else to say le actually.
but i wanna make this post longer.

lessons so far.
some of them were okayy.
but some of them is just zzz.
sec4 le. still talking about PSLE score much?
sorryyy.

theres amath test on thurs.
chapter 13.
already having problem doing e stupid paper le.
oopsss.

oh ya. one point.
i think i should learn to like keep my mouth shut during _____
den like e others listen only.
maybe liddat will be better hor.
try next time.
i went to many blogs just now.
read alot. but i dunno what to feel. ><

and i still think i am going to die very soon...

OH YA.
dramas can really be my ke xing!
got dramas test e next day also dun care le.
damn cham.
anything also can control.
jiu shi cannot tahan dramas.
it has a certain connection with me? i dunno.

THE POST IS OFFICIALLY QUITE LONG LE. ;DDD
prouddddd~~~
anyway wish me luck for amath and bio and my shopping and learning and stuff!
BYE.

2009-01-10T17:08:00.000-08:00

yay. so mock comp and orientatation are over.
i slept for like DAMN LONG?
more den 12 hours.
AND I REALISED WHY MUSCLES ACHES ARE SO PAIN.
coz never sleep enough.
u know afier i slept i wake up.
my arms all not aching liao?
;DD

but anyway. even after sleeping i woke up with e very very heavy heart.
and i guess only i will know why.
crying just doesnt seem worth it anyway.
i am going to divert everything on studies. I SWEAR.

itsbacktothestart,
orevenbacktobeforethestart.
iknowishouldntormaybeicouldnt.
buticannot____.
hemaynotevenbethinkingthesamewayiam.
yesiknowthat.

2008-12-31T05:50:00.000-08:00

hey.
its the last year of 2008.
yes. so being the lazy person i am.
i will just say..
that 2008 has been a REALLY FAST YEAR.
with soooo many things that i can hardly remember them much now.
but i really treasured all of them
whether it will be regrets.
happiness
tears.
WHATEVER.
it happened, so accept. ;D

i dun make NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS.
coz somehow i dun bother making them happen.
or they wun happen.
so. ;D
but i sincerely wish..
that in this yr.
EVERYONE WILL BE KAI KAI XIN XIN DE.
everything will go smoothly.
and schools good to go to.
yep. thats about all.

MY NEW YEARS EVE WAS SPENT IN A SHOPPING SPREE THAT MADE ME BROKE.
but at least i am happy la. ;D
thats most impt right. ;DDDD
i love myself. <33

2008-12-30T06:47:00.000-08:00

LOL.
i dunno what to express my mood now.
HIGH?
REGRET?

OKAY.
i went shopping today!
den i got my pencil case.
ya not the point.
but i now like regretting what i bought.
dun feel like using it after all.
oops.

anyway.
i am super looking forward to shopping tomorrow.
I MAKE SURE I AM NOT GONNA REGRET NOT BUYING IT TODAYY.
rarh!!!!
first i am going to SIMEI!
buy stationary for school!
yes.

den going to city hall?
go see bags or clothes.

den off to plaza sing and far east.

I SUPER DUPER WANNA GET MORE CLOTHES.
ya and bag.
i wun mind a jacket too! ;D

anyway my hw.
lol.
i feel nice to be left with hong lou meng halfway.
den a eng book.
emath.

eng the most i use TKAM. ;D
can go online and search.
no need read. ;D
i may CONSIDER doing emath on e weekends. ;D

I REALLY WANNA BUY THINGS NOWWW. ;DDD

2008-12-28T07:12:00.000-08:00

;DD
SHOPPING LIST!!!
LAST MIN SHOPPING!!!
1. backpack
2. tote bag
3. pencil case
4. everything within the case
5. file

FROM SCHOOL:
1. COLOURED FILES
2. EXERCISE BOOKS WITH COVERS.

OPTIONAL
school shoes? ;D

2008-12-21T09:27:00.000-08:00

i am currently in that state of dunno what.
hard to express.
so i shallll!!!
say what comes to mind first.
never mind if its not making any sense.
i dun make sense like half the time anyway.
OHKAY.
HERE GOES.

things have been pretty hectic.
there are trainings and stuff.
i read peoples blog and somehow their feelings just got stuck onto me.
i am in love with pretty boys.
i am stuck in a dilemma myself.
i dunno if its me.
but yea. sucks to know if it is.
everytime i see it and i try thinking if its me.
but somehow or rather.
i will feel it is.
althought deep down i know that it may not be.
den i will go feeling guilty.
but i dun do anything about it.
so thrs not much use.
i have a sinking feeling within me.
i have things i wanna say.
i wanna know.
but i dunno how to.
i think i will really take things as it goes.
a few more days and its xmas.
den a few more days and its 2009.
den one more day and its school.
lol.
homework?
uncheck.

OKOK.
end of it.
i feel a teeny weeny bit better.
but still enough to smile like dat. ;D
i am left with
ONE HONG LOU MENG
ONE ENG BOOK
TWO EMATHS PAPER.OPTIONAL;D

oops. it seems alot.
its now 1.33 am.
should i like go sleep liao?
lol.
anyway i watched finish bu liang xiao hua.
lol.
so much for not watching dramas anymore.
but its quite okay i guess.
;D

movies i feel like watching.
bride wars.
angus thongs...
bolt?
bedtime stories?
all about women.

some are pretty old and outdated i know.
but i nv seem to be able to catch it.
lol.
but thrs like so not enough time liao.
and i still have my work to be done.
gah.
nevermind.
convinces myself that all is fine.
;D
oh yea.
i am kinda happy that i didnt really regret as much as i thought i would. ;D

2008-12-09T07:01:00.000-08:00

i currently feel like i have alot cramped up in that brain of mine.
SOOO
i shall take it down:
1. TEP!
2. PLANNING.
3. STILL PLANNING.
4. HOMEWORK (but doubt it la)
5. SHOPPINGGGG
6. MOVIESSSSSS.

lol.
thats all i can think of now?
seems so little yet like alot.
i just realised that thrs very little time left.
so homework?
and and.
notice e MOVIESSS got alot of SSSSS.
lol. PLURAL.
shopping.
actually i dun really have a list.
its just aimless shopping.
i sort of lost my motivation to shop?
i dunno la.
i just now got things to say de lei.
but i forgot.

okayy homeworkkk.
I GOT ALOT OF IT LEI.
i done SS.
lol.
BIO.
CHEM.
tadah.
i still have alot.
the pile remained stagnant for like 1 and a half weeks liao.
rarhhh.

starting to feel the heat. lol.
ANYWAY.
thrs alot to be done lei.
and i wan i wan i wan!
to watch alot of movies.
and shop.
although i dun really have a aim.
MAYBE TOO MUCH THINGS THAT I WANT LIAO.
UNTIL I DUNNO WHR TO START FROM. ;DDD

EDIT:
i kind of remembered what to say when i saw my previous post.;D
i watched finish ming zhong zhu ding wo ai ni!
lol. so thats what i have been doing these 1.5 weeks.
HEHHHEHE.
its a nice dramaaa.
but its kinda draggy.
until the end i was like kuai dian wan!
but its still nice!
;DDDD
ahahahah.
i shall stop watching dramas liao.
its like taking up all my time.
and i get caught up and i dun sleep till like 4am?
den i wake up at like 12.
den i continue watching.
very unhealthy.
yes.
;ooo
thats wad i wanted to say about?
i swear i shall not see any drama this hols.
TV not counted la.

editedit:
i just realised something bad.
very bad.
when asked about sj,
i found out i didnt know what to say about it to protect it.
you said it was a waste of time.
but somehow i just got stuck there.
the first word that came: R.
thats when it dawned upon me.
this is bad.
however,
i managed to SQUEEZE this out: ;D
but actually thrs a whole bunch of gd frens,
who tong gan gong ku with you.
cry with you.
play with you.
endure with you.

butiseemedtoforgetitsomuchthatistaredatthatsentencethinkinghowunfamiliarthisis.

2008-12-01T07:33:00.000-08:00

BOOOWOOOO.
anyway. i watched finish DAN CHAO FAN.
yeaps.
err. the story is nice.
but i still hate that e girl didnt choose the other guy.
hes like so much better?!
owells.

anyway.
i got hooked up onto e show.
den i was like damn occupied.
slept at going 4.
den when i finished it today.
i watch tv watch finish all e shows.
den i realised i was pretty lost.
pretty bored.
thats when i realised.

actually i am like occupied with nothing?
only that dramas pull me off my SHEN JING XIAN or something.
den i bu zhi bu jue dunno that
_________________________
dunno that
______________
ya i dunno how to say so _ is e best. ;D

ya.
actually i lead a _______ life.
fill it in yrself.
lol.
but ya lo.
like HAO WU YI YI you know??
never mind. the most i go back to my dramas.

got so many types of dramas.
TAIWAN KOREAN bla bla bla.
i cannot be watch all finish de mah.

watching dramas makes me forget myself.
which is good. ;DDD
and also forget everything.

i realised.
that when things dun go e way i like it.
i hate it alot.
a small realisation after watching finish e drama.
not that i hate it. lol.

LALALAL. ;D
a small thing.
the lawyer that died
the one dat got shot dead by terrorists?
is HUI YAN too.
lol. only han yu pin yin different niaa.

I SHALL DO MY MATHS PAPERS TOMORROW.
DEN DEN DEN.
go back to my dramas.
owells?

2008-11-22T08:49:00.000-08:00

HEYLOOOOOO.
LOL. i am freeee.
freee like a buzzing beee!
sorry just felt like saying that.
my mood cannot be any better now.
i dunno why.
although everything just came crashing down on me suddenly.
but yea.
SMILE. ;D

ANYWAYYSSS.
i dunno what to say. ;DD
hehs.
oh yea.
i agree with you okays.
coz look whos e one making it! ;D
ahaha.

somehow i feel like something.
i dunno how to describe it though.
maybe coz i know too many things.
;DD

you know whoo.
yea.
i dunno how to say.
but why do i feel that way?
HMM.
i have e temptation to spill everything out.
but i dunno how.
not dun want to.
rarh.
this feeling within me now just doesnt feel.
right.
LOL.

hohoho.
remember me saying that once i am overly upset/angry/sad wadeva.
i wun know how to express myself.
thats exactly how i am feeling right now.

justlemmebeefreakingbeachandendthisrightnow. ;D
cozsomehowiknowthatsillysomething.

2008-11-20T00:20:00.000-08:00

i dunno what to say
what to do.
but all i want now.
is to do this.
and to do it good.
let it be once and for all.
after this i really dun and wun give a damn anymore.
it has lost its meaning to me long ago.
its just boils down to one word
with a capital R.

i will do it.
coz its my R.
but never ever expect me to even.
i cannot seem to find a word to fit in there.
our moods are all over e place.
yupp.
but from now on
rest assured.
my mood shall not waver over such things le.
coz my R is over.
OVER.

i wun care
so not caring would mean indifference right?
;D
i think this way.
EVRYONE will be happier.
fine
seriously FINE.

at least for me it would seem that way.
and hello. not e only one okay?
i know yrs is bigger and u cant let it down like i do.
so i dunno wad to say and wun say.
anyway it wun make a difference to me anymore.
be e person for all i care.
just look behind you and see please.

when i realised alot more.
i will shuddup.
when i couldnt undertand anything
i will shuddup.
when i cannot recognise what is this anymore.
i will shuddup.

my new msn nick:
~amandaye! why izzit that i can just sense that everything is just going to start all over again?

BUT, before that happens, i will have a protective shield over me. and ENSURE that i will never get hurt.

2008-11-14T04:45:00.000-08:00

I. LOST. MY. PHONE.
BLOODY ASS.
FUCK THAT STUPID ASSHOLE MORON IDIOT SUCKER THAT TOOK IT.
i left it on e table or cushion. i dunno.
i very fast went back liao lei!
but its gone by the time liao.
i damn frustrated.

ahhhh. my mummy.
i call her den she was like OH DEAR OH DEAR.
lol.
but i think she come back later sure will scold liao.
althought she jiang me on e phone abit
anyway my fault mah.
haiii.

curse the person that took it without returning bu de hao si.
D;

ANYWAY.
u know hor.
before i lost it right.
i actually like a feeling that something will happen lei.
and i know is to my phone de lei.
i dunno
i look at my phone den got a really wierd feeling.
den i nv go care.
so ya lo.
MORAL:
NEXT TIME BELIEVE IN YR SIXTH SENSE.
ESPECIALLY WHEN ITS QUITE ZHUN MOST OF E TIME. ><

2008-11-08T05:37:00.000-08:00

hmmm.
i realised something la.
u know whenever i very anrgy right.
den whoever say sorry.
i will nua diao.
><
even if its those very angry de.
also will la.
lol.
damn dumb.

anyway today went out.
but yea.
it sucks having no money.
i wan buy clothes. buy shoes. buy bag.
i will die liddat man.
i wana shop during holidays.
AHHHHHHHHHHHH
MONEY COME TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
lol. ;D

and i bloody shit quarreled with him. ><

2008-11-03T05:21:00.000-08:00

HOOOBOOO.
hehs.
i quite okayy feeling now.
i was reading through all my posts.
e drafts and everything.
yea felt quite nice after all.
smiled while reading. ;D

oh yea.
todayyyy i did.
i read my physics tb.
i did revision on chinese.
well doesnt seem much.
but when i did it it seemed so much.
><

SOMETIMES I WONDER.
i wonder howww
i wonder whyyy.
anywayssss.
i dunno wad to say anymore.
only that i want my holidays back
i dun like and i dun wan school.

todays e 2nd.
14th is wad i am looking forward to!
wish me luck on O levels CHINESE! ><

2008-11-03T05:14:00.000-08:00

2008-11-02T05:45:00.000-08:00

hahahaha.
i dunno what else to type.
but my moods now not bad.
YOU ARE RIGHT. ;DD

anyway. i have just fnished.
-the stupid mock paper
-eating
-bathing.
;o

oh ya.
i slept for very long too. ;D
YOU KNOW.
my stm is getting worse.
I KNOW I GOT SS TEST ON MONDAY
AND I NEVER THINK OF BRINGING MY SS TB HOME.
wowww.
I KNOW I NEED TO DO E MOCK PAPER IN THE WKENDS.
AND I NEVER BRING MY GAO ZHI HOME.
i felt like killing myself.
anyway the answers are on foolscap now.
(you know what, i left BOTH my gao zhi and foolscap in school,
so i had to dig for like half an hour for FOOLSCAP.)
ya.
so i have to copy onto gaozhi
AND study ss tomorrow.
i feel so crap.

how how how.
OH YA.
you know i meant to study PHYSICS.
and ZUO WEN.
along with the SS and mock paper.
AND NOW.
although i like sleep liao.
DEN HOR.
i read e physics tb.
den one page i go back and sleep liao.
FAN ER.
i went to read flying fish in sky.
not as nice as i expected.
make me sleep more.
idiot.
SCAM MY FEELINGS.

i dunno why i typed so long
but ya lo.
we went chinese new year visiting on sat.
lol.
no la. to give the farewell invitations.
ALOT OF FUNNY THINGS HAPPENED.
i am lazy to type.
i asked shelley to upload photos.
coz i lazy.
and no patience. ;DDD

TILL THEN!
wish me all the best for tomorrow mansss.

2008-10-31T04:14:00.000-07:00

wad the crap.
u ask me why?
i seriously hate the tone u use la.
its not like i had a choice.
whatever la.
your tone really makes me piss off.
as if i owe you like nothing.
you ask me who.
i really felt like saying you.

crap la.
i dun wanna talk liao.
bye.

2008-10-25T00:26:00.000-07:00

lol.
coz of my accidental highlighting
i read something.
yea. i dunno why
not my business.
but abit _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _.
lol. try guessing.
urgh. ><

ahahah.
anyway!
HSM3 was nice.
and i dunno why.
I CRIED.
abit la.
maybe coz like leaving le or wad.
i dunnoe.

liang zhu was nice too!
lol.
burn after reading sucks.
no subtitles wan my life.

ahaha.
oh ya. my life is happy so far.
i think.
apart from all those.
i duno how to say.
ya
I FEEL GOOD. ;D

i feel freeee. ;D
at least i dun have a limited number of choices.
lol. i know.;D
i like the freedom i have.
and i definitely dun intend on handing my freedom in. ;D

oh ya. text twist is nice.
although i suck at it.
but i get headaches playing it for long hours.
yea. peoples hooked onto viwawa too.
lol.
playing till wee hours.
play till brain dead. ;D

mei you exams de ri zi zhen hao.
lol. its my new year on monday! ;D
monday is a holidayyyyy.
go out? go out????
stay home study?
till then

TATA! ~

-ALL THE BEST GOOD LUCK.
JIA YOU.
MY DEGREE CELSIUS! <3

2008-10-23T03:22:00.000-07:00

HOOOBOOOOO!
actually quite shoik. mon fri no need school.
den another mon and fri!
NO SS. shoik si.
oh ya.
i KIND OF like my life now.
ABIT BETTER LA.
you know after my bad luck term.
lol.

i keep going out.
go out watch movies.
go out BUY THINGS.
lol.

NC3 outing! lol.
KBOX.
i like! rather den ice skating la.

but now got sjab things to do.
wahahha.
i was so proud i did alot in one day la.
left NYAA lib duty.
sian diao.

oh ya. o levels are here.
lol.
jia you bah people! ;DD

2008-10-17T22:26:00.000-07:00

Amanda uses judgment to make decisions. She is ruled by her head, not her heart. She is a cool, collected person who is usually unexpressive emotionally. Some may see her as unemotional. She does have emotions but has no need to express them. She is withdrawn into herself and enjoys being alone.

The circumstances when Amanda does express emotions include: extreme anger, extreme passion, and tremendous stress. If someone gets her mad enough to tell her off, she will not be sorry about it later. She puts a mark in her mind when someone angers her. She keeps track of these marks and when she hits that last mark she will let them know they have gone too far. She is ruled somewhat by self-interest. All her conclusions are made without outside emotional influence. She is very level-headed and will remain calm in an emergency situation. In a situation where other people might get hysterical, she has poise.

Amanda will work more efficiently if given space and time to be alone. She would rather not be surrounded by people constantly. In a relationship, she will show her love by the things she does rather than by the things she says. Saying "I love you" is not a needed routine because she feels her mate should already know. The only exception to this is if she has logically concluded that it is best for her mate to hear her express her love verbally.

Amanda is not subject to emotional appeals. If someone is selling a product to her, they will need to present only the facts. They should present them from a standpoint of her sound judgment. She will not be taken in by an emotional story about someone else. She will meet emergencies without getting hysterical and she will always ask "Is this best for me?"

People that write their letters in an average height and average size are moderate in their ability to interact socially. According to the data input, Amanda doesn't write too large or too small, indicating a balanced ability to be social and interact with others.

Amanda will demand respect and will expect others to treat her with honor and dignity. Amanda believes in her ideas and will expect other people to also respect them. She has a lot of pride.

Amanda will be candid and direct when expressing her opinion. She will tell them what she thinks if they ask for it, whether they like it or not. So, if they don't really want her opinion, don't ask for it!

In reference to Amanda's mental abilities, she has a very investigating and creating mind. She investigates projects rapidly because she is curious about many things. She gets involved in many projects that seem good at the beginning, but she soon must slow down and look at all the angles. She probably gets too many things going at once. When Amanda slows down, then she becomes more creative than before. Since it takes time to be creative, she must slow down to do it. She then decides what projects she has time to finish. Thus she finishes at a slower pace than when she started the project.

She has the best of two kinds of minds. One is the quick investigating mind. The other is the creative mind. Her mind thinks quick and rapidly in the investigative mode. She can learn quicker, investigate more, and think faster. Amanda can then switch into her low gear. When she is in the slower mode, she can be creative, remember longer and stack facts in a logical manner. She is more logical this way and can climb mental mountains with a much better grip.

Amanda's true self-image is unreasonably low. Someone once told Amanda that she wasn't a great and beautiful person, and she believed them. Amanda also has a fear that she might fail if she takes large risks. Therefore she resists setting her goals too high, risking failure. She doesn't have the internal confidence that frees her to take risks and chance failure. Amanda is capable of accomplishing much more than she is presently achieving. All this relates to her self-esteem. Amanda's self-concept is artificially low. Amanda will stay in a bad situation much too long... why? Because she is afraid that if she makes a change, it might get worse. It is hard for Amanda to plan too far into the future. She kind of takes things on a day to day basis. She may tell you her dreams but she is living in today, with a fear of making a change. No matter how loud she speaks, look at her actions. This is perhaps the biggest single barrier to happiness people not believing in and loving themselves. Amanda is an example of someone living with a low self-image, because their innate self-confidence was broken.

Amanda is very self-sufficient. She is trying not to need anyone. She is capable of making it on her own. She probably wants and enjoys people, but she doesn't "need" them. She can be a loner.

For a graphologist, the spacing on the page reflects the writer's attitude toward their own world and relationship to things in his or her own space. If the inputted data was correct Amanda has no white space or margins on a typical sheet of paper. Amanda fills up every last inch on the top, right, left, and bottom. Hmmm. If this is true, then Amanda has a very aggressive personality toward others and quite frankly lacks a bit of respect for the space and property of other people. I would be surprised if Amanda just comes into someone's home and helps herself to a drink in the refrigerator. This can be both an obnoxious personality trait and it can be assertive and effective in getting what you want. There isn't much fear of getting in trouble here, Amanda finds plenty of reasons to break the rules and get in trouble. (Okay, perhaps when she was younger, not anymore?) Basically, people with no margins are a handful.

2008-10-12T06:04:00.000-07:00

SOOOO.
exams are over. ;DDDD
but i dunno why i dun feel that much.
this time exams took too long to pass. lol.
shopping shopping shopping. ;D
bought quite abit.
;DD
rebonded my hair.
CUT MY HAIR BY ALOT.
lol.
rarhhhh. ;D

hey.
i dunno if wadeva i think is accurate.
but yupp, as wad i said.
its not my business.
just that i cant stand people talking about it.
as in ya.
sick of hearing.
;DD

for now,
i guess i will mind my own business.
i know i will soon be in trouble.
but i am prepared. ;D

2008-09-23T09:22:00.000-07:00

lol.
tomorrows physics test.
thurs has chem and bio.
hahahaha.
i am going siao.
i am supposed to study.
study amaths study bio.
wadeva.
to hell with it.

WAHHAHAHA.
;DD

&i assure you that my smile will remain.
no matter what happens.

2008-09-20T05:09:00.000-07:00

;D
end of years are coming.
yea.
but amanda tan cannot seem to feel the feeling of it.
so shes not exactly studying.
shes watching tv.
going out.
playing.
anything but studying.
so how?

2008-09-12T07:05:00.000-07:00

finally
the long awaited wait for this week to end.
like crap.
today wasnt any better.
but i couldnt be bothered.
so ya. very fast didnt give a damn and shit le. ;D
PROUD OF MYSELF OKAY.
but even people agree with me dat i am suay.
like crap lo. lol

i cant see anything good from it.
so its not a blessing in disguise.
but i dun care le. >;D
i only wan to sleep. ;D
sleep everything away.

last line:
one line i chance upon in a blog and felt it was so applicable to me.
There is no need to be further hurt by the unpleasant event after it is over.

2008-09-11T05:09:00.000-07:00

fuck.
wad a way to start a post.
but thats e way my life has been since the start of term.
dunno why.
i especially suay.
and not only in school lei.
as in.
just fuck lo.
i dunno wad the hell i did la.
why the hell i so suay.
enough is enough le la.
i cant even keep track anymore of how many things just keep happening one after another.
its just pissing.
extremely pissing.

pissed off until can cry those type of pissed off.
its been like very very extremely long since i last felt this suay.
i think i nv this suay before la.
THE WHOLE WEEK LEI.
who the hell can beat me la.
i tink if i list it out it can take me e whole of one hour la.
crap shit.
its just not worth it.
NOT WORTH IT.
actually before i type all this out i got alot of things to say.
den i type and i forget everything i wanted to say.

ya lo. just pissed off. i juz wanna get this over and done with.
ya. everytime is going against me la.
its just not fair.
i got alot to vent
but my stm kicks in and i forget.
but like bloody crap.
my bloods boiling la.
like seriously.

i hate these things that ruin my mood
my everything.
to hell with it man.

i remember writing this.
the more i try,
the harder i fall
the worse it gets
the more tired i feel.

the LAST sentence.
its just.
PISSIFYING.

2008-09-09T07:00:00.000-07:00

heyho.
lol.
ben xiao jie very happy today.
coz of a msn conversation.
quite stupid right.
but i felt that i learnt alot. ;DDD

earlier in school my mood cant get any worse la.
coz of ya stupid stuff.
was angry at myself.
but this only goes to show wad i always say is true de lo.
when in a day i am unhappy or pissed at one point.
another point i will be like very happy.
depends on the degree of the pissness den will have wad degree of happiness.
lol.stupid right.

but i rather i be happy in school lei.
it mattered to me.
hai.
unfair.
why izzit that i do put in the effort but others dun even need to?
crap. stupid jiu shi mei ban fan la.

okay. done.
就算是在逗我开心。

2008-09-09T00:42:00.000-07:00

heh.
i reached home early. a short post.
I AM HOOKED AND CRAZY OVER HOTSHOT.
lol lan qiu huo!
i think i will again like some siao person
finding everyway to watch it.
anyway jerry yan is really damn shuai.
siao le siao le.
i only watch it coz of the love story.
although damn ordinary
but nice lei. ;D

gahhh.
oh yea. screwed bio spa and chem test.
but like cannot be bothered le.
theres still 2 more tomorrow.
idiot.

bye.
and the spamming make me smile. ;D

2008-09-02T02:38:00.000-07:00

hmm. lol. i dunno wad to say.
ahahahha.
rarh i tink i found out something today.
i dunno.
lol not sure.
but i sure realised something.
i really become numb le bah.
IMMUNE. ;D
it should be time le bah.
like since almost start of the year till now.
maybe abit lag.
but still i cheng gong le! ;D

2008-08-29T02:14:00.000-07:00

HEH.
lol. today was teachers day celebration!
i think it was very nice lo. the effort can be seen like
ALOT.
i thought it was the best la.
coz i didnt sleep. and i liked my colourful streams of hair. ;D
oh yea. after that went to mrs yah's house.
lol
at first was like dun wan go.
BUT I DUN REGRET GOING LO.
see so many frens.
where we can just talk and talk and talk.
watching naruto watching tom and jerry watching this watching that.
it was very very good. lol
for a moment i thought there was nothing to worry about. lol.
its like.
i also dunno la.
the feeling very nice. lol.
very different very nice.
i have limited vocabulary. =.=

we all changed so damn much la!
and we took pics! ;D
happy happy. ;D
I WANNA HAVE A 6/1 CHALET OR GATHERING LAAAA.
it will be damn cool.:D

oh ya. MY RIGHT EAR HURTS ALOT.
its not the ear drum.
its outside thr like orh ceh the pain.
i dunno la.
maybe due to too much talking on e fone. lol.

;DD

2008-08-25T07:12:00.000-07:00

hmm. suddenly hor.
i feel like i quite 幸福。
i dunno la.
did a slight reflection after seeing those words in the conversation.
lol. den i realised alot of people actually cares for me!
lol.
but pian pian the person jiu shi. LOL.

aiya. i also dunno wad i talking about.
but jiu shi feel very nice now. ;D
although hes not the one.
but ya still his funny way of saying things sometimes really allow me to smile.
打从心底地笑。;D

everytime i am not happy.
there will be someone there for me.
to be my punching bag.
my 出气筒。
comforting me.
knocking some sense into me. lol.
i tink that sentence u said really triggered off my thinking. ;D
you wun come here de la. sure de.
SO. lol. thanks! ;D

oh ya. u know hor. you see today quite good mood right
sleep for like 4 hours.
caught up on all my sleep.
BUT i nv study for ting xie.
and somemore my good mood wun last de.
never did last.
so tomorrow sure die.
sure got things make me damn bad mood. ><